Dancin, Dancin, Dancin, I'm Dancing Machine!!!!

So recently, I decided to join the university's hip-hop dance squad, Unexposed Dance Squad. They are pretty awesome.

I have not seen them much this year, but freshman year I peeped them and their awesome dance moves out. I wanted to do this for many reasons:

1.)I love to dance
2.)I wanted to prove to myself I could dance choreography
3.)I desperately need to get involved around campus
4.)This would make me look more balance on a resume

Maybe those aren't the best reasons, but they're true. I've never danced choreo before though. I went into the first workshop Friday with a positive attitude. I impressed myself with how much I could do, but still needed to work on some stuff. I went back to my dorm and worked out the kinks. Today was a completely different story.

We learned a complete new dance (and auditions are definitely tomorrow) that was just for the guys. This dance has some more complex moves that, without exposure, seem pretty difficult to land. I was flailing about for the entire three hours of the workshop  (except for the small time we practiced the first dance). It got to the point where the vice president of the club sat me down. He was doing his best to be respectful and nice but he probably felt I didn't have what it takes. After explaining to him that I had no prior experience in dance, he said that my main issue was my execution... I know the moves... they just look sloppy.

After that I decided that wasn't even going to show up to the auditions. I was felling pretty low. But after a series of events I managed to host a practice session. Jade (a girl already on the team) and two other girls auditioning for the squad got together in my dorm and we went over the moves. The female dance is INTENSE!!!!(and soooo sexy)... but ours is pretty difficult too. A few guys auditioning passed through. And since one of the auditioning girls was cute we had quite an audience. I got my confidence back and realized how much fun I have when I'm dancing. We danced from 5 - 8 (after a 2-5 workshop) and I was so beat out afterwards. I'm gonna kill that first dance at the audition, and I need to get off this blog to finish practicing the other one...

Auditions begin at 2pm tomorrow.. wish me luck.. and keep me in your prayers

Auditions are

There's a Possibility

Befoer I get to the main point I'm sure only one other person knew that the title is a lyric to a song

Possibility - Lykke Li  (enjoy as you read)

Back to the subject at hand....
Remember when you were a little kid, and everyone used to ask you, "What do you want o be when you grow up?" You may have easily answered a doctor, or a firefighter, or even a veterinarian (like I did).

Now I've been asking myself that same question and it's not so easy to answer. I'm an Animal Science major (pre-vet for the most part) but I've been milling over just getting a PhD and going into research, instead of going to Veterinary school.

Because of my uncertainty, I went to some of my cousins to ask them for advice. They helped me out in one way and screwed me other in another. I intially asked them what types of internships did they take in undergrad school (they are both doctors) to look so impressive for their respective medical schools. They told me about a few things to look into but a new conversation spawned for that. They began to tell me that they think I lack the drive to become a vet. they said, "I feel like you like animals, but I don't see you really caring for them so strongly that you'll work with them like that." In any other case I would probably be offended, but it hit a nerve for me. I've never worked in a pet shop or in a vet's clinic. Hell, i don't even own any pets. I didn't even bother to see the chicks we hatched in poultry science class last semester till it was absolutely necessary.

They proceeded to convince me that I was much more suited to be a doctor. I do have a very inviting personality I suppose, but I don't think i could handle saying, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but (insert loved one's name here) didn't pull through. Plus i'm hard on myself with my grades. I'll constantly ask myself what i could have done better on a test or quiz. You think I could handle doing that after working on a patient that died?

But regardless, becoming a doctor is something I could definately see myself doing. No matter what choice I make I'll be Dr. Nzinga (best super-villian name ever). I also see myself working in a lab with animals for research purposes, or having my own veterinary practice.

The future SUCKS.... mainly cause I don't have a clear map to happiness in it. Can some one invent one of those please. "Take right to win the lotto. Take left to meet the girl of your dreams"

OH.. and i have a project for my art apreciation class. it's supposed to be about any established (worked on his/her craft for 20+ yrs.) visual artist. Any ideas???

new.year.new.dorm.new.roomie.new.me

I'm like super late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I'm extremely excited about this me because this is my year to put into action everything I've been trying to do with my life. Last year I was so unhappy with so many things and as a result went searching for some answers. my conclusion is that my unhappiness was solely my own fault. I'm still working on a few things, but my outlook is completely positive.

One of my little pet projects though is my style. When I look in the mirror sometimes I see a little kid. Part of being a grown man is dressing like one. My dilemma: Dressing like a grown man takes grown man money X0. Doesn't matter though I'm working up to it.

Here was my outfit for my first day of classes:

I'm very proud of it. Blue collared button down, straight legged black jeans, white air force ones, and an agile sweater. Oh yeah, I'm sexxxay. lol

Oh and I've really been on my music game lately. I'm really feeling the Noisettes right now. They're this pop, modern jazzy, neo-soul-esque, group. I just got their latest album and digesting it now

Enjoy:

I'm in desperate need of some extra-curricular things to do on campus.... Any ideas???

I Blame the wifi....

So I obviously haven't been writing here as much as I'd have liked to in the past, but I blame it on campus wifi. For some reason the wifi network streaming through my dorm wouldn't allow me to access gmail or sites like blogspot. So there... and I had a lot of good topics I wanted to bring up too. : ( But seeing as I'm sitting on my bed, in my dorm right now typing this up, obviously the issue has been resolved. And just in time for finals. I need my email and such.

Anywho I was wondering if anyone ever felt like their parents were oblivious to what's goin on with them. When I went home recently I decided to open up a bit to the parentals and they surprised my by saying exactly what I needed to hear. Not what I wanted to need but, what a needed to hear. My mom told me that I'm afraid to try anything that I could possibly fail. And this, I realized is vastly true. I stayed in books because I thought "this is my thing" but in reality I stick to books because I get immediate and good results. I'm a A-B student... but I was beginning to feel that's all there was to me. I have a dynamic personality... I think. But my tendencies to just not try things that I wouldn't be amazing at cripple me. I don't like sports... mainly because when I was little I never was good, and without practicing I stayed that way. I won't go up to certain girls due to fear of rejetion. (This blog makes me sound so much lamer than I am. I promise). So I've made an unofficial pledge to myself to get outside of my box. I've been hanging out with different people, teaching myself to draw, listening to new music (that wasn't too hard to do), and dancing (well grinding on) with girls at parties (I have a bit of a pet peeve on that last one), oh yeah and going to parties. I'm slowly fixing myself..... ya'know re.invented

Music

 A lot of my personality is wrapped around school. The majority of my friends are my class mates, and the majority of the conversationsi have are about schoolwork, teachers, other stuff that happened in class, etc. Because school encompasses so much of my life I plan on writing about anything but school. No need to drag it into a blog when there's no need. So back to the topic: MUSIC!!!!!

Anyone that knows me knows i go hard when it comes to music. I listen to damn near any type of music, and flaunt my diverse musicall collection anywhere i go. I am pretty much attached to my iPod. It is a major necessity in my life. I sound so dramatic, but its true.

Pop:
For some reason this music video just spoke to me this week. It's a cheesey pop song and everything but the message is sweet and i really connected to two or three people in the video. And as one of my best friends says, "I live for the cheesey stuff": Katy Perry's Firework

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw&ob=av2e

plus I'm a sucker for violins in modern music

Hip-Hiop/Rap: Wiz Khalifa's Black and Yellow
I've heard people mention this guy around campus but this is the first song I've heard by him. I see why people have his name on the tip of their tounges.

R&B/Soul: Jazmine Sullivan's 10 Seconds
Let me just start out by saying that Jazzy is the absolute shit. Her music can build you up or tear you apart, which is what "good" music should be able too do. Something about her voice is sooo attractive too. Not sexually attractive, but I when I hear her I want to hear more.

Rock: Linkin Park's Robot Boy
I think Linkin Park are simply the kings of rock music genre.... if you consider them rock that is. I think they're the predecessors to some of the the emerging groups that simply transcend genres and stand as they are, like them or not.

Alternative: Two Door Cinema Club's Something Good Can Work
This group was one of iTunes' free singles of the week a long time ago. Since then I've incereased my collection of music by them. This has to be one of my favorites though. If you haven't heard them yet, you will. I think they'll be big if they get the right breaks

Wild Card: Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel's Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Thanks to my Dad I've recently increased my motown collection and this has to be one of my favorite of that era. Honestly who doesn't love this song. But these two people belt it out on this song, you simply can touch them.

If there's any music ya'll think I should listen too feel free to share. I don't promise to like it, but I probably will anyways.

So... You have a blog

.....but now what? I guess I feel like this blog is a necessary step for me. As of lately I feel like I've lost myself, and for whatever reason, getting back to a place where i'm happy is too hard to do. I want to get back to this place on my own, which is going to require a lot of self-reflection....so why not start a blog. Once I've found my way back to where-ever I'm trying to go, I'll be able to look back on this journey and smile and laugh at how insignificant my problems probably are. So the purpose of this blog is to find a way to re-invent myself. And since this first post is sorta bumming me out already i promise to myself and to any other readers (if i tell anyone about this) to keep it lighter. Not everything will be all I hate my life, I'm so horribly lost!!!! Though some days I may feel like that. So this will be my artistic outlet.... music that I like, poems I may write, funny things that happen on campus, everything will be posted here. So I have a blog and now I'm starting to be.... reinvented